It’s the 20th Episode anniversary of the Learn to Love Podcast!
Can you believe it?? Just 20 weeks ago, the first episode of the Learn to Love podcast aired, and what a wonderful, educational, and heart-warming ride it has been.
We’ve met and learned from some truly amazing individuals doing incredible work in the world. Here’s a recap of the last 10 Episodes:
In Episode 11, Marriage and Family Therapist Stacy Lee explained to us that couples start to experience problems when they move from “we” to “me,” and are unable to navigate difference. The biggest thing between the couples that succeed and those that fail is their motivation: are partners willing to grow and look at how they are contributing to the problem?
Stacy also explained that in a good relationship we have to tap into several kinds of love for that relationship to be successful. It’s not just passionate love but also friendly companionship that can provide a solid foundation for your relationship to flourish.
Click here to listen and learn more.
In Episode 12, we learned from relationship writer Sabrina Alexis how disconnection has grown over time. Even before COVID-19, people related less in person and more on social media.
We also learned some red-flags to look out for in new relationships, including anger issues and believe it or not, when someone says they aren’t ready for a relationship! Sabrina also explained that love brings up all that is unloved within us, and it takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize the past patterning that isn’t serving your current relationship.
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In Episode 13, psychotherapist and Gottman therapist, Sinead Smyth talked to us about what the research of John Gottman has to say about successful relationships. Happy couples, for example, have a positive habit of mind and look for what is working and what their partner is doing right.
Less happy couples on the other hand, tend to exhibit patterns of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. We can break out of these patterns by remaining curious about our partner’s experience, developing gratitude and appreciation, and recognizing what is important to our partners.
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In Episode 14, couples therapist and meditation teacher, George Taylor talked to us about how the power of awareness can completely transform our lives. We can notice when we drop into patterns of pursuing and withdrawing, attacking and defending, and intentionally come from a place of love.
We also learned that while fear is a state of holding back, love is a state of openness. By continually checking in whether we are opening or closing to the present moment, we continue on the path from fear to love. It all comes town to setting the intention for a safe and loving relationship, while also being able to notice and change our own negative behaviors.
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In Episode 15, meditation teacher, author, and spiritual leader Spring Washam explained to us that a fierce heart is able to hold the complexity of the human experience without turning away from it.
Spring reminded us that we are all on this path of purification, from ignorance to wisdom. When we purify the mind of greed, hatred, and delusion, the natural qualities of wisdom and compassion naturally permeate our entire experience. We have to take time to remember our true loving nature.
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In Episode 16, author and relationship coach Michael Sorensen reminded us that every human being needs acceptance, appreciation, and love. This is fundamental to the human experience.
And a wonderful way to help someone feel a sense of acceptance and belonging is through validating their experience: to listen with empathy to what a person is saying, and validate them BEFORE offering feedback, advice, or your own experience. Over 80% of people who leave their job cite a lack of appreciation as part of why they left.
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In Episode 17, author, psychologist and professor Dr. Laurie Mintz explained that sexual communication is an essential skill for pleasure, consent, and orgasm, and it’s a lot easier to learn how to talk about sex than to learn how to read minds!
Dr Mintz also busted a number of myths around sex, including that we shouldn’t have to talk about sex to have great sex, that sex should be spontaneous, that vibrators are addictive, and that women should have orgasms from penetrative sex alone. We can approach sexual problems like we would any other: with communication and compromise. We can also start building a sex-positive world by teaching our kids that sex is a fun, pleasurable, essential, important, and life-giving part of life.
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In Episode 18, professor, clinical psychologist, writer, and author, Dr. Alexandra Solomon explained how a good relationship makes for good sex. When couples feel emotionally safe with each other, they are able to talk more openly about sex and better meet each the other’s desires.
Dr. Solomon also gave us “The Golden Equation of Love,” which is, My Stuff + Your Stuff = Our Stuff. In short, falling in love is like shaking up a snowglobe, it’s going to bring up our core wounds, family history, and cultural situation. Successful relationships are those that are willing to work on their stuff and recognize there will inevitably be bumps in the road.
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In Episode 19, sociologist, sexologist, author and intimacy coach, Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus explained to us the Madness in our society around the conflicting and contradictory messages women get around sex and sexuality. The way to break out of this conditioning is both mindfulness and compassion.
Dr. Gunsaullus also explained that the four factors for a conscious relationship are: vulnerability, authenticity, compassion, and mindfulness. We can honor these qualities within ourselves with self-reflection, self-knowledge, and self-kindness.
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And finally this week in Episode 20, therapist, author, and podcast host, Anita Stoudmire taught us that break-ups are a three step process of grieving, assessing, and healing. Break-ups are hard because love is like a drug, it can take a while to detox from the natural high of being in a relationship.
She also explained that healthy love is a 50/50 split between the head and the heart. We can absolutely follow our feelings and get taken away in the ecstatic romance of love, but we mustn’t forget our head when choosing the right person and checking in with our truth.
Click here to listen and learn more.
Thanks so much to all of our wonderful guests for hopping on the show, and THANK YOU listeners for listening and helping to bring more love into the world. When you get a chance, support the show by liking it, sharing your favorite episode, and subscribing on your preferred application.
What’s been your favorite episode so far? What has been your biggest takeaway? Who do you think should be an upcoming guest? Did any questions come up when listening that you want answered? Comment Below!
